Tails and Tales

So we took a little break from thinking and wondering and worrying and thinking we were undeserving self-obsessed a-holes. Going through this will do that to you! And now we are refreshed and have our heads in order (well as much as they can be) and have explored a little more into our options. And what do you know, its completely different than everything I've been told and/or red. At this point, I almost expect that.

I called Lutheran Child and Family Services, which is apparently different than Lutheran Social Services. I knew that they did not do inter-country adoption, but we were still interested in adopting from foster care here in IL. My experience with the agency assigned us by DHHS was not so good as you may remember, and we were uncertain whether you were just stuck with who you got assigned to or if you could choose another. When I spoke to the rep at LCFS, I learned that you could choose a different agency. But she needed to clear up some things I may have heard about adoption.

Let me first start off by saying the rep was really nice - she was very upfront and spit out all the facts which she said made people think she was being abrasive, but I was very thankful for. In Illinois there is no straight adoption from foster care. You have to become a foster parent, and if that child becomes eligible for adoption while under your care, you get first dibs. How do you get that child? Illinois DCFS assigns foster children by ZIP CODE! So if the kid comes from 60016 then he/she stays in 60016. Some areas have more families than children, and so it could be years before a child is placed with us, and then no guarantee whatsoever they will become eligible for adoption (the goal is always reunification with the family). So you see the problem for Jerry and I, because we are looking to create a family (in the future we'd like to foster, but we should get some experience as parents first!). So our options inside IL are to foster and hope to adopt or newborn. No and no.

The LCFS rep said that inter-state adoption is an option. It is similiar to inter-country adoption in that all options within the state have been exhausted for these children, and so they are going outside to find families. Most have been abused (physically, mentally and sexually) and neglected. Most have learning, behavioral and developmental disabilities. They may have siblings adopted by other families that they are disconnected from. We are okay with that now. We know we will do what we can with what we have, and the family that we build will be beautiful.

But we do have a decision, to pursue our original desire of adopting from Poland or do inter-state. Though Skipper sure loves being the center of attention...